Control
by HeavyMetalBender
Summary: Kuvira contemplates her past decisions leading up to this moment in her cell, including the first time she hurts a friend while they attempt to rob a Cabbage Merchant. Things turn when Suyin gets involved. Chapter 1 is a submission for the Pro-Bending Circuit. Will be multi-chapter


A/N: Submission for the Probending Circuit, Round 1.

Firebender, Mo Ce Mongoose Lizards

**Prompts used:**

*** easy - 1.** (word) pillow

*** hard - 9. **(character) The Cabbage Merchant

*** hard - 11. **(quote) "Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" - Audrey Hepburn

**Due date:** Friday, January 16, 2015 10pm EST

**Title**: "Control"

**Synopsis:** Kuvira contemplates her past decisions leading up to this moment in her cell, including the first time she hurts a friend while they attempt to rob a Cabbage Merchant. Things turn when Suyin gets involved.

**WARNING: **This is rated TEEN + for triggering subjects including - mention of prior abuse, minor blood references, subtle mention of self mutilation, and suicide. Read at your own discretion.

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><p>They always said it was the coward's way out - but she was never a coward. Not now, not ever. The former uniter of the Earth Empire stood tall even though her mind was falling apart. The realization that there was nothing left worth living for wasn't sudden, but her decision to end it all was. Her country, her family, her relationship – everything Kuvira held dear had been systematically destroyed – and she could blame no one but herself. She had hurt so many people, it was becoming too much of a burden on her mind. And for what, uniting a country that ultimately didn't want her?<p>

Kuvira didn't need to stand trial to know her sentence. The skilled metalbender took her version of justice to the extreme, but it ended up hurting more than helping. She was going to die, one way or another, so why not have it on her own terms?

There wasn't much to work with - she knew because she had designed it that way during her reign of terror. This prison was made for the _disobedient _criminals. Criminals like her: earth, lava and metal bending masters who broke the law. It was surprising how well the platinum and wood structures held up.

Kuvira looked around, trying to find something to use. Her thoughts drifted to the guilt she felt the first time her bending had accidentally hurt someone. What had happened to make her so numb to it, now? She killed hundreds, no, thousands of her own kin, and yet felt nothing while it was happening. Now, even accidentally stepping on an ant-fly made it hard for her to breathe.

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><p><em>Flashback<em>

_"We have a problem." The day was turning into a headache. Su pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping it would provide some type of temporary relief from the migraine threatening to take over. Sometimes she swore her guards were just as incompetent as they __were the__day they had come in._

_The head of the guard, Jin, started to fill the matriarch __in__on the situation as they walked towards the atrium._

_"Do you know where her parents are?"_

_"__The girl said that she doesn't have parents__. T__hat's when we got you. We can't just haul an eight year old off to prison… We figured you'd have a better chance at getting her to talk."_

_"__Do you know her name?"_

_"__She wouldn't say__. __At__first the kid wouldn't stop crying; now she's in some sort of shock. There was a firebender boy with her, but he's in the hospital. He was pretty hurt from a deep metal gash, but he should recover." _

_"__Did the merchant do that?"_

_"__No, he can't bend. According to the merchant, she had tried to attack him when he grabbed onto the boy, but it missed and hit the boy instead."_

This is going to be more difficult than I thought…

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><p><em>The guard's hand was tight on her shoulder, probably to prevent her from attempting to run. Not that she could<em>_; __she was still shaking from the memories of only a few hours prior._

_Even though the argument between the guard and merchant was playing out in front of her, she couldn't think about anything else besides the earlier incident. The anger flooded her emotions and clouded her judgment. Her protectiveness got the best of her, and she bent the cuff off of her wrist and flung it at the man. _How could I lose control like that?_ She didn't think that the merchant would pull the boy closer to him instead of dodging. He used Amar as a human shield. The edge of the metal sliced into his collar, a gurgling shriek accompanied the thud of her friend falling to the ground. She miscalculated._

_And then all the young earthbender could remember was blood__. I__t seemed like the only thing she could focus on in that moment. All that blood, pooling around the tan fire bender that had been called a friend_. _It stained her hands and clothing- not that she cared. Amar was gasping, silently asking her why she had hurt him. Why had she not just yelled at the merchant to distract him as they had planned? He managed to choke out, "Get out, go," before Kuvira was dragged away by the police._

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><p><em>Kuvira was brought out of her trance when the merchant shoved her forward towards an older woman.<em>

_"__This girl was trying to steal my cabbages!" His shrill voice was starting to get on her nerves. It was his fault that her metal clasp missed and hit Amar instead of merely bruising the merchant's wrist hard enough for him to let release the boy._

_She started to struggle against the guard, and huffed, "I want to see Amar, he's hurt!"_

_"__Didn't you hear him, little girl, he doesn't want to see you! He told you to go!" The matriarch frowned at the man's taunting. Su held her hand up, to try and get the two to quiet down._

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><p><em>The first thing Su noticed was the blood on the child's clothes. Next, the cuts on the tiny trembling body before her. Her shoulders seemed to be covered in them – all in different stages of healing. She was severely underweight, with clear tear tracks down her face. Her hair was <em>_long, braided, and dirty._

_Kuvira felt more vulnerable than ever having this woman study her awkward and thin body. She tried to regulate her breathing, but it just made the shaking worsen._

_Angry, the merchant started to march towards Su. "I'm not leaving until this girl pays for the cabbages she stole!" Another guard intercepted the merchant before he could get any closer._

_Suyin sighed, "How much will it be?"_

_"5 yuans!"_

_"All this hassling of a little girl over 5 yuans worth of cabbages?" She couldn't believe this man. She wanted him gone, and wanted to know more about the young girl before her._

_"A man has to make a living." He huffed back at the matriarch._

_"__Tell me exactly what happened, from the beginning." She motioned towards the merchant, "you first."_

_"__I was trying to stop this filthy thief and her accomplice from taking my cabbages, would you believe he had the nerve to _burn _me? A simple cabbage man! So, I grabbed the boy and he jerked away, so I pulled him back. He fell into me when the metal sliced through his neck. It was a good distraction though, since she wouldn't leave his side until the police came." He smirked, thinking he had won._

_"__Enough." Suyin had a talent for exuding authority, which she used to her advantage._

_She looked back at Jin, "you said the girl metalbent, correct? Jin, do you know if she's been trained in any of our schools…?"_

_Jin thought for a moment, before answering, "I've never seen her before in the city, even…"_

_The young girl spoke quickly, "The girl's right here, you know! No one trained me, I don't even know how I did it. I just, I was angry that he was hurting Amar and I just threw my arm and instead of earth the cuff went towards the merchant. And I didn't mean to hit Amar, I just was trying to get something to eat and he startled me so it hit the wrong target with the wrong thing and hurt him. And-"_

_Su interrupted her monologue. "You mean you were trying to steal…"_

_Kuvira kicked at the ground, before muttering a quiet "yes…"_

_"__Jin, pay the man for the cabbages. Get him out of my sight. I'll give you back the money in the house." She pointed to the girl, "I'll take care of this one."_

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><p><em>The metalbending master led the young girl into her house, stopping briefly at a closet to get some clean clothes. "For later," was all she said, and the pair continued into another room which Kuvira soon recognized as a kitchen. The matriarch ignored the fact that Kuvira was covered in dry blood and sat the girl on the table. Suyin was quick to start rummaging through the cabinets for a first aid kit.<em>

_Su broke the intermittent banging and clacking of drawers with casual conversation about the girls name and age. _She still doesn't trust me. _Satisfied with finally finding some dressings and disinfectant, she thought about the real reason this whole situation was troubling her. The older woman softened and tried to hide her worry when she turned back to the child, "What are all these cuts from?"_

_Kuvira refused to make eye contact, thinking of every time her father decided this was the best method to deal with her 'afflictions.' The matriarch began unpacking the dressings and waited for an answer, while Kuvira drifted off into her own world. Her eyes became glassy when muttered, "Punishment." '_Not all of it by another's hands either,'_ she added to herself._

_"__Is that why you ran away?"_ _A dab of alcohol caused her to wince and recoil at the pain searing through her nerves._

_"__My parents are dead." Kuvira continued in her head, '_Or at least, I wish they were.'

_The matriarch shook her head, smiling. "I can tell when you're lying to me."_

_"__How?" The young earthbender was genuinely confused, usually people didn't question her as much. _

_"__Your heartbeat changes when you lie."_

_Feeling very self-conscious, she let out a quiet, "oh."_

_"__So, your parents…" She started to wipe away the dried blood on the child._

_"__They… they hurt me a lot. So did a lot of other people. Finally, they told me I was dead to them... So I ran away."_

_"__I'm sorry." Su reached to pull the girl into a hug._

_Kuvira flinched at the sudden contact. "You don't like to be touched, do you?"_

_The younger earthbender shook her head. The woman continued to look over the different scars and clean open wounds on her body. She noticed Kuvira getting uncomfortable with her looking at all the damage._

_Su tried to disarm the girl with a smile as she continued to bandage the wounds. "You can wear these for as long as you want, if you keep the wounds clean. That way no one will see them." _

_The comfort had a strong impact on the young girl. No one had ever really taken care of her before, or even bothered trying to help her. Kuvira had a sudden urge to start to open up to the older woman. Maybe it was because the young bender had no one to talk to about these issues, or that she felt she could trust the metalbender. But she started to reveal more about her past, "My parents were terrible people. I had a big brother: Amar reminded me a lot about him. They were both firebenders. It's how we became friends."_

_"__What happened to your brother?" Kuvira's face made her almost _not_ want to know._

_"__He fought back and didn't make it against dad." She remembered the fight like it was yesterday- even though the burns had long gone away. Kuvira started to feel guilty. _If I hadn't gotten in the way, he wouldn't have hit me and I wouldn't have distracted him and dad wouldn't have-… _His face when he realized he had hit her instead of their father was seared into her memory. _I failed my brother. And now I've failed Amar._ She shook her head to try to rid herself of the vivid image and continued, "Amar is never going to forgive me."_

_"__Don't say that, he will, eventually."_

_"__After what I did to his neck, I think it's pretty much impossible."_

_"__Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible!' "_

_Kuvira said nothing at the words of wisdom and chose to try and concentrate on ignoring the overwhelming feelings inside of her. Su's perceptiveness betrayed the young earthbender, and Su started to open up about her own shortcomings to try and comfort Kuvira, "You know, I once hurt someone too with my bending."_

_Kuvira was a bit shocked at the revelation, "Who?"_

_"__My sister." The older woman's eyes had a distant look when she spoke._

_Curiosity got the best of the young girl. "What happened?"_

_She took a deep breathe, there was no sugarcoating what she had done years prior to Lin, "I was mixed up with the wrong crowd__. __M__y sister tried to stop me after I had done something bad and I screamed at her and bent the cable my sister had thrown at me back at her. I wasn't as good at controlling my bending at 16 as I am now… But now, my sister carries the scars of that encounter on her face, for every person to see. Every time she looks in a mirror, she sees the day _I _betrayed her. And even though she's beautiful, I can't help but feel guilty when I see her now."_

_"__Did she forgive you?"_

_"__Yes, eventually. It took some time. Just like it'll take time with Amar, or even your parents."_

_"__I'm never going back."_

_"__And that is your choice. But you have a place here now."_

_Kuvira was shocked at the offer, if she was interpreting it correctly, "I can't- I can't- I have nothing to offer!"_

_Su ignored her protests. "We start training tomorrow."_

_"__But-"_

_"__Not many eight year olds can bend metal – let alone throw it any sort of distance. I've never heard of anyone besides my sister and I doing that. You need to learn control – but you are far more talented than you realize." _

_"__I-" She began. _

_But Su had already made up her mind - Kuvira was going to live and train with her henceforth. She was going to learn control; and she was never going to experience that kind of abuse again if Su could help it._

_/End Flashback_

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><p>Su was right, the once inexperienced bender had learned control through years of discipline and training. Kuvira had become the master of control. This situation was no different. She was going to decide her destiny – and she wasn't going to hurt anyone anymore.<p>

Amar had forgiven her many years ago for that miscalculation; maybe one day, Su would forgive her too. _I will_ _be long gone before that happens_… She wouldn't even acknowledge her letters, and Kuvira was tired: tired of waiting, tired of hurting, tired of all this mental suffering and isolation. So it was time for her to sleep.

_This will give them something to unite over… _She grinned at her own sick joke. With one final breath, she stepped off of the wooden stool. The braided pillow pulled tight against her, and she clenched her eyes shut.

_I'm so sorry Suyin._

Everything went red at first. She heard the guards rushing into the prison cell, and could feel them desperately trying to cut her down. But they were too late and finally, the Great Uniter's vision faded to a comfortable black.

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><p>To be continued... HMB<p>

A/N2: Reviews and CC are encouraged! Always looking to get better :3


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